Saturday, December 29, 2012

5 Simple Mental Blindspots We Are All Guilty Of

Cover of "Forgiveness"
Cover of Forgiveness
Rajeev Pershawaria, in a Forbes post, pointed out 5 simple mental blindspots we are all guilty of. I am going to make a very quick summary of all 5 points:

1) Respect is earned, not taken by force or fraud

Respect cannot be demanded, then taken, but must be earned. Most people mistake fear for respect. If you demand respect (because of your position), you will get fear (and/or seething anger) instead. What are you doing to earn trust from others?

On the other hand, you cannot take respect through fraud either. You can *act* like a big shot, dress sharp, but you'd just be a hustler, not the real thing.

2) Why not a win-win instead of a win-lose?

If you are negotiating with someone, do you really have to be adversarial? Must he lose so you can "win", or vice versa? Why not try to strive for a win-win situation, by learning what each side *really* wants, then work from there?

On the other hand, a fraud can be described as falsely representing a win-lose situation as a win-win situation. Ponzi scheme is basically claiming that everybody makes money, when in fact only some people make money.

3) You control what you feel, not others

If you think too much about how others see you, you will never be happy. You control how you feel, because it is you who are feeling. Stop taking things so personally, and do not worry about other people's thoughts. Worry about YOUR OWN THOUGHTS.

Thus, a lot of this positive thinking "fake it till you make it" self-help books make a little bit of sense in that it can get you start controlling your own feelings, but it's not a cure all. Remember, "faking it" is not real.

4) Forgiveness is not weakness

If you don't forgive, you will dwell upon the anger and hurt for a VERY VERY long time, and that can only hurt you. It takes tremendous effort to forgive, but once done, it is liberating. So learn to forgive (but NOT forget).

If you forget, then you'll just end up getting hurt all over again. Learn your lessons, and MOVE ON.

5) Leadership is built on humility and empathy

A great leader is not afraid of admitting he is weak in some areas and need help (humility), as well as understand other people's views (empathy). A leader who is blind to his subordinate's needs and opinions are running blind and dumb.

Same applies to all sorts of problems. People in income opportunities often cannot withstand any sort of criticism from well-meaning critics. They were brainwashed into avoiding "negativity" when those are perfectly valid objections, warning signs, red flags, and such. If you refused to see things from the other side, you have a serious lack of perspective.

So watch out for these five mental blind spots.

Read the full article here:

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