The Myth: You consider yourself a decent listener
The Truth: You're nowhere close to a good listener, as you have preconceptions that ignores information that does not fit your narrative.
Here are ten related myths about listening:
Myth 1: Everyone
knows how to listen.
Fact: Every one knows how to "hear". Listening is a very different skill.
Myth 2: Sending
messages is more important than receiving.
Fact: Listening and speaking are like ying and yang, they are complementary processes. You can't have one without the other.
Myth 3:
Listening is easy and passive.
Fact: Listening is an active process in which your brain actively interprets the data and evaluate how well it fits into your narrative. Thus, it requires mental power.
Myth 4: Hearing
and listening are the same.
Fact: Listening and hearing are completely different skills. Hearing is completely passive, while listening requires critical thinking.
Myth 5: An
effective speaker commands the audience's attention.
Fact: an effective speaker has the skill to "tease" the audience into paying attention, but the audience needs to participate as well.
Myth 6: Hearing
and decoding constitute listening.
Fact: Active perception, analysis, and evaluation are still needed even if you "heard" the information.
Myth 7:
Communication is the sender's responsibility.
Fact: Communication is like tango: it takes two, both speaker and listener.
Myth 8:
Listening is done with the ears.
Fact: True listening involves body language in addition to merely the verbal stuff.
Myth 9:
Listening skills are practiced, not learned.
Fact: Listening involves critical thinking, thus practice does not make perfect. You need to engage your brain for this instead of reflex.
Myth 10:
Listening ability comes from maturity.
Listening ability is from engaging your brain. Maturity merely lends you more perspective.
(Reference: Adapted from "The Top 10 Myths of Listening,"
Copyright 2003 by Thomas Leonard, http://www.coachville.com)
So what can you do about it? Here are ten tips from Forbes
http://www.forbes.com/sites/mindmakeover/2011/04/02/tools-to-hear-tone-to-engage/
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