Wednesday, July 29, 2015

HUMOR: Suspect Credential Translator

A lot of scams misrepresent their "credentials" by inflating what they do, piling on euphemisms, and stretching the definition of the term to be something that's barely relevant.

MLMSkeptic has compiled the following terms and show you the real meaning behind the fancy terms.

They say: US based company!

Reality Says: I registered this online in Nevada (or Delaware) for $149 (or less)!

They say: Renowned Investment Group!

Reality says: I registered more than one companies online!

They say: International Conglomerate!

Reality says: I registered companies online in more than one country / continent!

They say: Decades of experience in the industry!

Reality says: I spent decades amounting to nothing (which is why I'm STILL at it!)

They say: Internet advertising platform!

Reality says: I know how to deploy a free banner rotation script!

They say: We have investments in biotech!

Reality says: I sell some nutritional supplements I got from some no-name factory in Asia!

They say: Experienced Internet entrepreneur!

Reality says:  I launched multiple failed schemes one after another!

They say: We have signed contract, making everybody a ton of money!

Reality says: A memorandum of understanding... i.e. "intent", not a contract, can be backed out at any time. 

They say: We have resort on _____!

Reality says:  We have a piece of rocky beach that nobody would bother build a resort on.

They say: We have a golf course!

Reality says: We have a CLOSED golf course we *want* to redevelop! 

They say: We are backed by Bank ______ (and Bank ______!)

Reality says:  That's not a bank... (UDBP Bank in Thailand)

They say: Your income is guaranteed! I bought insurance for it!

Reality says:  Uh... that's a REQUEST FOR QUOTE for insurance, not acceptance. 

They say: Our mines are surveyed by so and so!

They say: We are a legal sweepstakes! Not a lottery! 

Reality says:  I never asked a lawyer to check, so I don't know what I'm talking about! 

They say: Celebrity ______ is involved in this company!

Reality says:  You mean the leader managed to get a photo with a celebrity? Like some yahoos cornered Will Smith, and how Phil Ming Xu cornered Al Gore and Steve Wozniak for a photo? 

They say: Our _____ was invited to attended a prestigious economic conference!

Reality says:  We bought him a seat for 50K to sponsor the dinner where he gets to recite a short speech that nobody was listening to!

They say: Join the young people revolution! Be a brand ambassador to promote product!

They say: Our products really work, as proven by clinical studies!

They say: We can't be a scam! We own an airline!

They say: We can't be a scam! We hired Paris Hilton as DJ! 

Reality says:  No you didn't. You resold tickets with 60% markup where she hit play on a DJ table and collected tens of thousands of dollars for couple hours of doing nothing. 

They say: We have business relations with the biggest travel network in the world!

Do you have more examples of "scamspeak"? Feel free to add them to the comments.

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