HUMOR: How to get rid of people who want to rope you into "make money fast" schemes

Feel free to utilize these pointers to counter sales pitches next time people come up to you and want to recruit you for some sort of income scheme they tout as "can't lose", "risk free", and so on.

#1

• Wow, sounds amazing. Is your entire family in? I'm sure blood is thicker than water and all that. Is/Are your brother / wife / papa and mama / etc. in? How many relatives did you recruit?

#2

• Wow, that sure sounds impressive. Did you quit your job and go full-time? Sounds like you can do a lot better in this (insert name). 

#3

• That's certainly interesting. However, I'm a bit empty in my wallet now. Tell you what, lend me the seed money. I'll split any profit with you 50/50. What do you say? 

#4

• I thought you said you made plenty of money? So you don't have any money to lend me? 

#5

• You thought your scheme was impressive? Let me tell you about mine... 

(Inspired by a post from JusticeAlwaysLate, a scambuster on Facebook) 

HUMOR: Suspect Credential Translator

A lot of scams misrepresent their "credentials" by inflating what they do, piling on euphemisms, and stretching the definition of the term to be something that's barely relevant.

MLMSkeptic has compiled the following terms and show you the real meaning behind the fancy terms.


They say: US based company!

Reality Says: I registered this online in Nevada (or Delaware) for $149 (or less)!


They say: Renowned Investment Group!

Reality says: I registered more than one companies online!


They say: International Conglomerate!

Reality says: I registered companies online in more than one country / continent!


They say: Decades of experience in the industry!

Reality says: I spent decades amounting to nothing (which is why I'm STILL at it!)


They say: Internet advertising platform!

Reality says: I know how to deploy a free banner rotation script!


They say: We have investments in biotech!

Reality says: I sell some nutritional supplements I got from some no-name factory in Asia!


They say: Experienced Internet entrepreneur!

Reality says:  I launched multiple failed schemes one after another!

They say: We have signed contract, making everybody a ton of money!

Reality says: A memorandum of understanding... i.e. "intent", not a contract, can be backed out at any time. 

They say: We have resort on _____!

Reality says:  We have a piece of rocky beach that nobody would bother build a resort on.


They say: We have a golf course!

Reality says: We have a CLOSED golf course we *want* to redevelop!